What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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