I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
