I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
