I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
