I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize