i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
