I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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