Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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