Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
