Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
and she was petting her beer can
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
