he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
