I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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