I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
