ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
