she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Welp...herpes.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
