it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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