I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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