today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Less talking, more tequila
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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