It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
