saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
