we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
