Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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