i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
