my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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