I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
