I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
