i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
