Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls

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(443): View more from Maryland

Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.

(410): View more from Maryland

The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.

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(850): View more from Florida

You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.

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(949): View more from California

Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.

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(909): View more from California

i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on

(901): View more from Tennessee

continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way

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(440): View more from Ohio

you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.

Fav 2 1019 528
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Beard. Chest hair. Job.

(602): View more from Arizona

The holy trinity.

Fav 0 62 16
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(541): View more from Oregon

I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.

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