It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
