Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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