Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
