ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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