Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
