Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
