I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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