Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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