when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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