Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I looked at my own cervix.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
