I want to walk on stilts...naked
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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