okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
