i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
