Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
