therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
