you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize