also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
