you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
