i permit you to call me
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
