I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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