Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
