ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
