he wants to bone in the snuggie
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
