Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
