Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
