I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
