my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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