come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
