Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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