Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
