how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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