the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
