So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
