That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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