i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
