This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
