I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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