gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
