I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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